So, I’m up at Tivoli right now, visiting Sofia and escaping NYC. I’m only going to be stateside for another day and a half, but couldn’t even handle the city for that long. It’s nice being up here, and sofia’s apartment looks great.

I want to write about being home. Unfortunately, a lot of photos I took are trapped in my camera and unable to be rescued right now, so I will have to content myself with writing.

I was a mess when I got home. I was completely confused about many things in my life – my first steady and real job (only a summer job, but long and hard enough to count for more) had ended and I had no idea what I was going to do with myself. I knew I wanted to apply to graduate school, but then where would I go for the year up until then? A problem with moving around a lot and loving many places in the world is that you can’t decide where you should actually BE. San Francisco? New York? Edinburgh? Sao Paulo?
(otis, expressing my confusion)

So, I went home for a month and a half.
I went to the doctors, and I was given a bill of health. I was cooked for and felt healthier. (I made the pictured snack myself, ’cause I’m a grown woman.) I started running and felt stronger. I spent a lot of time on my own, getting things done. I was accepted to a certification program to learn teach EFL in Edinburgh (which is where I’m headed on Friday). I saw friends and family who I hadn’t seen in almost a year.

I spent time with my parents. I spent time at the farm. The farm was parched dry when I
arrived – it hadn’t rained in months (literally). The grass was crunchy and the air was full of dust. As we drove in at night, the plants lining the road looked like ghosts, pale because of their dusty coating. Even so – the trees were in bloom and I could smell the orange blossoms as I
walked around. I could also smell the sugarcane refuse, but that was unpleasant.
I slept with all the shades open and woke up looking out at one of the most beautiful views in the world. I went for long walks with my parents and looked at the orange trees.
I could write an entire post about what it was like when it finally did rain. It was glorious.
I spent time with my friends and cousins. I don’t have many friends at home anymore, but I have learned to make the best of the friends I do have and have gotten better at making new ones.
I read. I read SO much. I gorged myself on the words of others. I didn’t feel right without a book somewhere near me.

I crocheted and made a baby blanket for my soon-to-be-born niece or nephew (pictured). I made a heinous bag. I’m making a full-sized afghan – I think it’s beautiful.
I still don’t know what I want to do with myself. I feel a lot more comfortable with that than I did when I first got home. I’m very grateful.
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